Dear The Bachelor,
First of all, how are you still a show?! Secondly, how do you also have two successful spin off shows in The Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad?! (*1)
You’ve had 17 seasons. 17 men have attempted to find “love’ through your show. Oh, and they all just happen to be very good-looking and end up famous on some level during and after their stint. You can’t tell me that on some level these “contestants’ aren’t also looking for fame”…I digress. In 17 seasons, 16 of the fairytale ending season finale selections have ended in broken relationships. (*2) The 17th only became public last night, so the jury’s still out. Sean and Catherine, “may the odds ever be in your favor.’
Just for the fun of it, I looked up the stats on your counterpart, The Bachelorette. 8 seasons, 2 couples still “happily’ married. Trista and Ryan (I will never forget watching their fairytale wedding as a junior in high school!) and Ashley and J.P. The Bachelorette has a 25% success rate while you sit at maximum of a 5.6% and potentially even a giant goose egg. Do women have better discernment? Can men think clearly with 25 women throwing themselves at him? These are answers we will never truly know!
Honestly, neither percentage is too notable. Yet every season millions of viewers spend countless hours getting sucked into the fantasy world you create. Whether people watch because they have nothing else to do, to escape their own reality, to make fun of others or because they believe in love and are helpless romantics doesn’t matter. Bottom line, you are a great window into our culture. We are obsessed with love no matter the lengths people are willing to go to find it.
So what’s this mean for us. I’ll be the first to admit, I didn’t watch this season and I can often be quite the hater. I’ve seen you before and pretty much know every detail of you simply by opening my Twitter feed. I’m not saying love can’t be found on you. I guess anything is possible. My concern is a culture creating and believing fake realities of what love looks like. Lavish date outings, endless adventure, knowing somebody is “the one’ after knowing them for a total of 12 hours”…hmmm, fine two weeks.
You display false expectations. I watch single girls sit around eating “Will you accept this rose?’ cookie cake so emotionally invested they’re at the edge of the couch tweeting irrational things all over the outcome of three people they don’t even know. I watch married women coerce significant others into watching as well as becoming dissatisfied with themselves and their spouse because of what’s displayed. I watch teens long to believe you are what a real relationship looks like and that it is acceptable for a man to tell two to five women he’s falling in love with them at the same time. My fear is in a quest to publicly find love on national TV, you are subliminally distorting love in real life.
Nearly everyone wants to find the “perfect’ person to spend the rest of their lives with. People put their hearts on the line daily around the globe looking for love. It’s at our very core”…we want to be loved. We are built to love. I hope Sean and Catherine work out. I hope Trista, Ryan, Ashley and J.P. grow old together. I hope things work out for Desiree on The Bachelorette. I pray I get to experience true love in my life at some point.
Until then, don’t believe the ZERO PERCENT success rate on television is reality. Have realistic expectations for your own life. If you are people’s guilty pleasures and girls’ nights, I’m great with that, but friends, take the blinders off and set your “love life’ up for realistic success.
No, I don’t accept your rose of false reality,
True love advocate
(*1) And we wonder how and why America’s getting dumber compared to the rest of the world?!
(*2) In season 13, the bachelor ended up marrying his runner-up choice”…take five seconds to think through how those conversations that played out. “Uhhh”…I made a mistake. I know I chose her on national TV and borderline humiliated you, but”…”