Letter #590: Roller Coaster of Life


Dear roller coasters,

Well let’s just say I don’t need to ride one of you anytime soon. Why you may ask?! Well, I last minute hopped on an eight-passenger plane to Dallas on Sunday and while I was never scared it doesn’t mean my stomach didn’t drop into my toes a few times along the journey.

Harrison, AR. Memphis, TN. El Dorado, AR. Dallas, TX. Who knew you had to go east before south?! Honestly, I’ll do anything for a cheap flight. Heck, after driving thousands upon thousands of miles on trail I’ll do anything just to not drive.

Why Dallas when I just proclaimed my traveling antics to be done? Well, my sweet little nephew Emerson is in the ICU here. He had open-heart surgery on the 18th and just hasn’t made it over the hump.

Six days ago...Emerson currently has too many tubes to post!
Six days ago…Emerson currently has too many tubes to post!

His heart surgery went smoothly but a few other complications arose. He ended up being diagnosed with lung disease. Partially from being premature, partially from the stress of his heart issues. Fluid filled his lungs. Emergency chest tubes were inserted for drainage. Isolation implemented (mask, gloves, gown). Lungs collapsed. Rough weekend.

Hospital swag...this is how I was supposed to find my McDreamy! #truelifegreysanatomy
Hospital swag…this is how I was supposed to find my McDreamy! #truelifegreysanatomy For the record, no luck!

My brother-in-law had to go back to work”…somebody has to pay the bills! People have jobs. My other nephews have school. Everyone’s sacrificing. It was my turn. There are times when some things are just more important than life. This was a time when family needed to prevail. Regardless of what route it took to get there, I was making it to Dallas.

Emerson’s had a great couple of days since I’ve been here. Chest tubes removed”…they even let me watch them take one out! Isolation over. Lungs improving. Eyes opening when I read Bible stories and jam with him to Taylor Swift!

Emerson's beads of courage...they represent all the different things he's endured thus far. Pretty neat thing the hospital does.
Emerson’s beads of courage…they represent all the different things he’s endured thus far. Pretty neat thing the hospital does.

Emerson’s the man, and he has a ways to go before getting out of the ICU and even farther before leaving the hospital. Truthfully, I’m sure what lies ahead will look much like you…lots of ups and downs. We will celebrate the successes and baby steps forward. We will grieve the setbacks like any normal human would. But as anyone who’s ridden one of you knows, the best part isn’t the start or the finish. You are all about the ride.

I’m buckled and prepared for the unexpected turns you throw my way. Just like I would if you sat next to me on any ride, I’m scared out of my mind despite knowing it’s going to be okay in the end regardless of what’s ahead. Very intelligent people built you with countless levels of safety. You are trustworthy. The best part of all this is that the blueprint for Emerson’s life isn’t a question mark. The Creator of the universe, God Himself, knows the outcome. He knows every turn, drop and flip that’s ahead on this ride. He knows the ending. And it will be good regardless of what it looks like. As I get back on the eight-passenger plane today, my hope and trust lie in this.

Thankful for the ride that brought me to Dallas and for the hope that lies ahead regardless of outcome,

Truster of the inventor of the roller coaster called life

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I'm Lindsay. I write letters at least one a day to be exact. I love words of affirmation, the OKC Thunder, Oklahoma State, tempos with v-necks, ice water, garage sales, budgeting and Blue Bell. Processing life and quality conversation make me tick. I'm simple yet complex all at the same time. My family and friends mean more to me than the world, but my identity lies in Christ.

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